Today, May 18th, is my mother's birthday. I have thought of her all day. Mostly I have thought about how much I miss her. She would be 83 today and if she hadn't been a lifelong smoker, she might still be here with us. I miss hearing her voice, our long telephone talks. I wonder if there is a heaven and if she watches me work, sees me with my family, maybe even marvels at the kind of person I am, the person she helped me to become.

For a long time in my life, I would want to do things and be hesitant. I would say to myself, would my mom be afraid to do this? And off I would go and do the very thing that made ME/her afraid. When it came time to write her obituary, and I looked back on her life, I realized she was not afraid of anything. She was a trailblazer. She did things that women of her generation did not do. She was too young to be a Rosie the riveter in WWII but as a young woman she was a police officer and was working during big riots in the city of Philadelphia. She was a butcher in a market, a trade only men did at that time. Hard, dirty work. When I was in high school, after she had been home taking care of my brother and sisters, she went back to work as a finish carpenter and learned a trade all over again. She reinvented herself right before my eyes and showed by example that you could grow, change and begin again. Make new friends. Yes, I miss her and I wish my youngest child actually knew her but the better parts of me, the strong parts of me, the persevering parts of me are all my gifts from her.

 Happy Birthday, Mom.

Little Dog

Every Saturday night as I lock up the shop and leave the back door around 6:00, there is a reddish brown dog laying on the sidewalk, He has a face the shape of a fox and is timid and shy. His owner must be downstairs having dinner or his work week's ending beer. The dog lays patiently, waiting for his owner to exit the restaurant. For the first couple of weeks, I talked with the dog. He kept his distance and his tail firmly tucked between his back legs. I didn't touch him. The next week or two, I gave him dog treats. He wouldn't take them from me, but I would lay them on the sidewalk and as I said goodnight and walked away, I could hear him eating them. Tonight, I closed the shop late. It was a warm evening and lots of people were out, so I stayed open. Phil worked with me. For a few moments, I was laughing and talking with Frank, from the next door tee shirt shop, when into the open doorway stood the dog! I went to him and said hello. He looked at me, let me pet him ( ! ) and then waited for his treats. He wouldn't take the dog cookies but walked to the back door and waited for me to put them in the usual spot. I went back inside as he ate the cookies and waited in the lobby, once again talking with Frank. The dog came to the door again and looked at me, wanting something. Frank and I went to the dog, where he let both of us pet him, tail firmly stuck in its' usual place. I could read his mind, that little red- fox dog, " I need a drink, " he spoke loudly and clearly. I filled a bead dish with bottled water and he drank it in the doorway to the lobby. After finishing, he went back to his sidewalk space, lay down and waited for his owner.

 So who has grown used to the other? Me to him or him to me? Which is the better trained of us? Saturday night and my little friend has grown comfortable with me and I am delighted that friendship comes in many forms.

Time

How does so much time go by between posts? Honestly, it seems like I am on line all the time between blogs, websites, Facebook, Pinterest, Ravelry and more. I think about writing my blog often but worry that I have nothing constructive to say or that I have done nothing creative and worthy of posting. Better get over that! I am working in the shops more these days and still preparing for the big Bead & Button show. I suspect that a few days before I ship my merchandise, I will have marathon work hours getting the charms and jewelry ready. We all need a break it seems lately, from all the daily hassles of life and the cruelty and politics rampant in the news. I can spend time in the garden, just a wee bit but I think the change of pace at the B&B show is what we all need. Comrades in beads, friendship in beads, a creative burst of energy in beads, that's what I am hoping for from the B&B show. Will I see you there?

Since we will be exhibiting at the Ball Jointed Doll Show in Poulsbo at the end of this month, we decided to take a drive down and see the venue. We were invited to be vendors because I have so many small and wonderful things that are perfect to use on dolls. I will take many treasures and am looking forward to selling and displaying at a different kind of event. I have never done a doll show before. I also love downtown Poulsbo with its' blue park benches and pots of flowers sitting along Main Street. Of course, our favorite shop is there... Sluy's Bakery! Good grief what a fabulous place to let a diet fly out the window!

I will fill you in on more show information as we get closer to the date. I think a weekend " playing " with dolls sounds like fun!

I have been spending much of my relaxing time in the evenings looking at on line pictures of tiny houses and alternative dwellings. I have always loved little spaces, little houses, little cabins. I lived in a little house for many years and I treasured our use of space and the cleverness with which we designed our living area. I liked the smallness and intimacy of a little home. With small spaces comes a simplifying of life. No room for this or that: out it goes. No, I am not paying storage for things I might need someday. Saving money was easier too when there is no space to put all the stuff you gathered. Things you kept were useful and had purpose or were treasured items that deserved the sacred space they used. I miss living like that and think that when I am an old lady, I will once again live in a teeny, tiny house. Maybe with a teeny, tiny fence all nestled in a teeny, tiny rural area.

Truly, I am blessed with all that I have. A studio, a home, a warehouse and a garden shed dot our land. Space is filled with things. Still it is the smallness of a home that draws me in.

Check out Tumbleweed Houses. Tiny House Swoon. So totally cool.

My current garage is larger than the home I lived in for more than 10 years. 

This Afternoon

I know that I should have been in the studio all day making new jewelry, experimenting with the new clay, trying out my new silversmithing tools BUT, it was so pretty and warm and sunny and delightful outside that we HAD to spend the bigger part of the afternoon at the beach. Right now, I am posting on line and Phil is trimming my herbs in the garden and the gentle scent of lavender is drifting in through the open deck door. I am relaxed and sleepy feeling drenched with the sunshine and pleasant day I have had. Let me share my afternoon with you.

A portion of a structure that washed up on the beach.

Phil surfing a board.

East Beach on Marrowstone Island. 

The actual beach surface showing smaller rocks. There were also areas of large round rocks.

Someone built a little hideaway on the beach!

Big root ball from a very big tree.

The bluffs, sloughing down towards the beach.

A barnacle encrusted clam shell. We call these big babies -
horse clams. 

Finally our found treasure - beach glass! 

Blessings

There are days when life just does not seem right and maybe laying in bed for half the morning or all day, feels like a good idea. You can get to falling so deeply into your imagined troubles that you forget to count the blessings you have. Today a friend reminded me to look at life and remember the blessings. I don't think she meant to cause me deep introspection but she has been in the hospital for four ( FOUR ! ) months with no end in sight. Friends and family visit her, she reads, embroiders and wonders when she will be better. I wish I lived even a little closer to her so that I could sit and chat with her but tomorrow I will gather things up for a care package for her and along with it send my love and wishes for recovery. Her reminder today, to be grateful for my health, for being able to make a decision to stay in or get out of bed, to tell her I love her, has been able to refocus my thoughts and helped me count my many blessings.