Saturday, December 3, 2016

You all know that I live a creative life. I make my living by combining several things that I love to do. I  make things, I have a shop ( actually several ) and I think outside the box. I am liberal in my leanings and wild in my imagination and color palette. I think a lot and also take mind vacations by loitering on the internet, watching television, reading people magazine and just sitting in a rocker outside on warm summer evenings. I knit and crochet to relieve stress. I am addicted to playing one hand of solitaire on the computer just before I close my eyes to sleep. I am one who believes there are not enough hours in the day to do all I want to do and I often get a second burst of energy just before I go to bed. I like people. I like speaking with people all day in my shops but when I am done and quiet calls me; I am just that - done. I am mostly solitary in my life outside my shops. Sometimes I think I should reach out more and meet new people and be out there, involved, socializing, whatever people do when gathering. However, it feels like my hand is reaching towards a lit burner on the stove; as soon as I feel the heat; I snap back. I have tried a few new things and activities this year and I will probably do more of the same  next year. As much as I love Port Townsend, it is really a place that respects your solitude and you much reach for more if you want it because it is not going to come in search of you.

Anyhow, all this has me thinking about a different place to live. Maybe I want to sell everything and live smaller. Lord knows, with the new president elect we may ALL be thinking along those lines out of necessity. Maybe I want to try another country where medical and dental care is done at a reasonable cost. Just reading of a friend who had to go to Germany for affordable medical treatment and her costs, including airfare, lodging and meals, still equaled one fifth the cost of treatment here in the US. That makes me angry and afraid and brings on sleepless, dark nights. How can this even be?

Maybe I want to live with my kids. Be closer to my son on the east coast. Mostly, I'd like all of us on the same family compound. A closeness not only in bloodlines but in proximity. I have more room to build on my acre of land.

Maybe I just need to feed my soul with more of the things I love. Maybe I should feel content with what I have. I already feel so much gratitude for everything. Contentment is likely missing though and no matter where I look, I just can not find enough.

Maybe all I really need is a bathroom in my studio.

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