Tuesday, November 30, 2010

This Christmas Time

the shop windows with lights by Jake & Phil

the mantle in the shop with green fir boughs

 Crosses and crucifixes - made from original old pieces in the lobby case
It is a mystery to me that this Christmas holiday season, I feel like decorating both the shop and home. The previous two holidays were sad for me. In 2008, my mom passed away just before Christmas and the deep ache from missing her made it almost impossible to believe in the magic I always thought Christmas had. The second year, 2009, just reminded me that I continued to miss her and the holiday made me feel lonely and sorrowful deep inside. Phil and Jacob carried me along on these last two holidays, sweeping me up in getting the Christmas tree, decorating, wrapping gifts; even the pleasure of working in my shop, helping customers prepare their holiday gifts left me wanting and despairing. So perhaps this year is my time to begin to again enjoy the holiday. I am still feeling hollow inside where the pain of missing my mom lives but I want the bright times that come with the holiday. I want to feel the joy of a holiday with family, friends and customers again. As we string strand after strand of lights in the shop and at home, I am wishing for that spirit in me.

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