The moon is full and bright out tonight and I am sitting back, feeling pleased with what was accomplished in the studio. I also took some time out today, just for me and read our weekly newspaper through. ( Well, it was a whole hour to read so it was a break of sorts just for me. ) Life journeys and lessons come in so many forms, surprising, revealing with unexpected consequences. I have been allowing my mind to roam in the quiet of the studio without music or television and I have found a surprise in my journey.

A couple of years ago I wrote about the end of a long, long friendship. I was sad it had ended and could not see what could possibly come out of this abrupt, miserable ending but now, a couple of years on the other side and I see a brightness that was not there before, a completeness that was perhaps missing while I was in the midst of this friendship. I am closer now to my husband. We are sharing more, talking more and our friendship has deepened. Not having this female companion to fall back on has made my marriage richer.

I have also learned that what broke up this friendship was personal, between my friend and me. There were people who took sides. I never wanted someone to take a side, did not encourage it and indeed, when I said goodbye to this person and wished them well, I meant it. I just figured things would go on much as before and the only change would be that this particular friendship was ended and had run its course. Surprise. People left me, un-friended me, and went away. Each act was not exactly painful but like a scratch to the skin. A quick, sharp pain that lingered for a bit. Once again a couple of years later and I find that I treasure the people and friends in my life more than I ever thought possible and surprisingly, I don't miss these people. Perhaps it is the wisdom with being older, maybe the realization that life does not go on and on, the thought that all this could change and end on a nano second's notice. Whatever brought me here left much in it's wake and I am grateful.

You see, I have come out the other side of this journey, stronger, smarter. Happier, richer, more in love with all that is in my life today. Sometimes a journey is just that, a trip to the center of your being, a lesson in life, a passage to adulthood's wisdom. Life is a journey and a the trip is good.

Glass jewelry focal pieces made today.

Vintage lucite bracelets crafted for the shop.

It was a day of ahhh. I was off from work so I could spend time in the studio and catch up on a few things around home. Working intently in the studio, I made many new earrings, hangings and necklaces for the shop. Ever since I was a little girl, all I ever really wanted to do was make things and sell them. I am so blessed, so unbelievably lucky, to be able to do just that.

Anyhow, while creating away, Jake came out and wanted to have lunch with me IF he could drive his new car to our lunch spot. I didn't really want to leave but as a friend said last week, " anytime a teenager wants to spend time with you...." so off we went. A nice mexican lunch in the middle of the day. That child of mine can eat and he is not a cheap date either!

I managed to do two chores that have been staring me down in the house too. I washed, with the garden hose, the three tier rattan end table I use for colored pencils by " MY " chair in the living room. Then, because I was on a roll, I cleaned and polished my leather chair! As I sat in it this evening to begin the evening's projects, I thought, " ahhh, accomplished! "

Desk view.

My ahhh, clean and shiny leather chair and refreshed work table.

So the other night, I was up late, all by myself, rocking the living room with no one in it and no television on. The house was quiet and the camera beckoned. I thought I would take some new pictures of myself for Facebook, maybe change my profile picture, update my outlook on life and self. I snapped picture after picture and still could not capture the look I wanted. I was after a " this is what I looked like in high school " picture. It only took me about 40 shots to realize, really realize those days are gone and it is time to settle into the physical age I am. No big deal, I thought. I can do this. Then the realization hit me how much I look like my mother. I see her in my eyes, my nose, the set of my chin, the curve of my lip. All at once, I felt her around me, with me, watching with amusement as I looked for that slim, young girl of my youth. I could see the sparkle in her eye and the mirth on her face as she watched me struggle with acceptance. I always have believed that those who have left us are still with us. They make themselves known through signs or a sound, a movement or a scent. I had taken oodles of pictures that night and then as I felt my mom come so near to me, the pictures changed, orbs of light floated around me, light that had not been there before. I had not changed position or light source. So many orbs, spots of light and then I looked closer and saw my mom in those lights and the other family members and friends she brought with her. I was NOT alone in my living room. I was not alone, struggling to capture a long ago me. I was with family and they accepted me, wove around me and supported the me I am now. Here is a bit of the journey I took that night....

This is about the 28th picture I took.

Then an orb moves in.

More orbs come in.

I am surrounded in orbs.

So although I am not one to post pictures of myself, I wanted to show the changes as my family moved in. You can say it is a trick of lighting, a play of the camera but I choose to believe, choose to feel, that it was family that photographed with me that late evening.

A shop shot.

Now comes deep summer, when I find myself up early and working in the studio, in the shop all day and up late at night doing paper and on line work. These are full days. 

I do miss hanging out at home though. Playing with the dogs, watching their antics and cooking a meal every now and then. We eat a lot of sandwiches. Sometimes it is as if I stand outside myself and watch what I am doing. I get organized and actually get more things done. Sadly, I do not get time to just sit and watch the world go by. A creative person, an artist must have contemplation time but winter really is just around summer's back door and time will once again stretch out longingly on those cold afternoons.

Daisy entertaining me.

Anyhow, the days move forward in a whirl of activity and creativeness. People come in and out of the shops, the phone rings, beads are fondled, merchandise arrives and is placed out, a pause is taken to look at a new book and so on and so on. Groovy, groovy so on. Hello summer visitor season!

Things are moving right along this summer. I am enjoying all my customers, both the regulars and the visitors. It feels like I have a large group of interesting friends and at the end of each day, I feel satisfied with my work and content in my day's activities. The world is at my door and I am loving it. This coming week should see me spend a day making jewelry and the rest of the time in the shop meeting and greeting, hanging out being totally bead synced. So this Sunday evening as I am getting kind of goofy and a bit rambling here; I have two things to pass along:

1. In light of the horrible tragedy in Aurora, Colorado - bring your loved ones into your arms and hold them just a little tighter. Be happy they are with you. Be reminded how short and sweet life is and how we need to love and take care of each other. All the time.

2. Be grateful. Practice gratitude and pass along all the love and friendship and kindness you can.

The rainbow tonight seen as a bandaid for the world.

I absolutely hate having my picture taken. I can not fake being young or thin, tall or beautiful in the camera's eye. When the future rolls around, I can picture my kids and grandchildren saying, " why are there no pictures of mom "? Unless they read my journals, they will not know that the pictures are missing because I can not hide the real me from a camera. Sometimes, I think, well of course, you are not who you were back then in your youth. You are NOT a youth. I like my wisdom, I like my age, I like the experiences I've had. I just wish it all came with a little less tummy and a lot less chin. Sigh... On that note, here are a few pictures from this past weekend's bead show in Tacoma.

Time in a Bead

finished work 

more finished work

Now that summer is officially here, anytime I have off or out of the shop, I spend it in my studio making jewelry for the shop. I don't keep up with any housework or other chores. I'm lucky to shower daily and water a plant outside or two. I am but a ship passing in the night with my family. A quick nod good morning, a stolen kiss at bedtime and flash, the day is passed. I love being busy. I love selling jewelry to customers who return to my shop every year to purchase new pieces. The hustle and bustle makes me feel amazing! I am so blessed to still be doing what I love, surrounded by beautiful things, that I could go on and on here, making you want to say, " enough "!